DDOLMFN

I have a disturbing run-in with a DDOLMFN (Disgustingly Dirty and Overly-Long Male Finger Nails = DDOLMFN, reading all the lemony snicket books slowly makes one become obsessed with acronyms) on the Metro this week.

There i was minding my own business, holding on the the upright pole and reading the Express on my way to work, when at the Clarendon station disaster strikes. As the train gives the usual jerk as part of pulling out of the station I feel a rough scratch on the back of my hand.

Upon looking for the source i see that the suited, and seemingly well groomed, man next to me has reached out for the bar without taking his eyes off of his newspaper. In this blind grab he has scraped his thumb nail against the back of my hand, and to my repulsion, it was one of the most disgusting nails i have ever seen. It was longer than most women's and where it grew away from the finger, instead of the clean white you would expect, was a black mess tapering up through grey and finally a cleanish white toward the tip (so at least i wasn't assaulted by the worst part :-/). Rarely have i seen such a sorry excuse for nail hygiene.

I was so shocked that i uttered an audible "Ugh!" which was heard by another guy standing near me. He saw what i was looking at and gave me a "better you than me" look. I really think metro should introduce hygiene police to enforce common-sense levels of personal grooming and deodorant use...